Amy DeZellar

 Desperate for work and desperate for love, writer Amy DeZellar decided to combine her needs with her website, www.DatingAmy.com.  DeZellar invited readers to come along with her as she documented her experience dating 50 men over a two year period.  Readers of the site became enamored of the tales of evenings with computer designer Teflon; wine tasting with Indentured Cats; and artistic discovery with Harry Potter.  Within a year, Amy found herself appearing on national news shows, being interviewed by magazines, and being feted by single women everywhere. 
 In her soon to be released book, Dating Amy (June 2006: 5 Spot/Warner Books), Amy gives readers an honest, funny look at her search for the perfect date.  Interjecting myths (bunked or debunked) within each chapter, DeZellar entertains as she informs.  In an honest and sensitive manner, Amy presents the true tale of a 'fish out of water' in search of her mate at times she succeeds and at times she falls, but the reader cheers her on the entire way.
 Amy was kind of enough to take time out from her busy schedule to talk about the site and the book.

Q: When you started your website, www.DatingAmy.com, was your intent to meet men or to really help your writing career?
A: I moved to Seattle after 9/11, after many years working in Los Angeles as a music journalist.  Unfortunately I didn't have a job when I got to Seattle so the website started as a way to meet people and to get my writing out there.  Somehow I thought it would get me entertainment journalism work, which in reality there isn't any in Seattle.  I never really met men through the website it was more that I was documenting men that I was meeting naturally.

A: Did you have any favorite man during the experience?
Q: There were a couple of men that I liked, and I kind of got involved more with men at the end of the experience.  I kind of honed what I was looking for.  Since I didn't know what I was doing in the beginning, I seemed to be going out with a lot of men, which isn't my style.  I really wanted to do something that was more natural and real just going out with anyone wasn't normal for me.

A: My favorite man in the book was Teflon.  Did you keep in touch with any of the men?
Q: Teflon is a good guy and one of the ones I am still in touch with.  I would say I am in touch with 1/3 of the men met during that period.  Interestingly, I made friends thru website, made girlfriends which was totally unexpected.  Some of those people have been with me since I have been in Seattle.  The book and website really belongs to people who were with me from the beginning.  My family wasn't with me in Seattle and one of the nicest things about the internet was that it allowed me to connect with people.

Q: Did you find yourself censoring things on the website and in the book?
A: I censored things on the website a lot.  My early writings were pretty vague - unfortunately those entries aren't up anymore.  It was hard because the men knew I was writing about them and could go on and read what I was saying about them right after our dates. That's not best way to go about meeting someone.  I don't think I censored enough in the book.  I planned on editing it, and hoped someone would stop me, but ultimately no one did.

Q:   What has been your family's reaction?
A: My family hasn't read the book yet, but they have been really supportive.  I wonder privately if they really ' would want me to change my name afterwards.  I'm sure it will be fine.  I wanted to be honest and show what it's really like for people to go through this.  I did stupid things, the guys did stupid things...and it's all there on the page.

Q: Any advice on meeting men?
A:   Early on, I met couple who throw parties professionally.  Since everyone was there for the purpose of meeting people it was great.  My attitude, as soon as I decided to do the site, changed and I started meeting people.  My main advice is to go out by yourself, as it makes it easy for men to approach you.  I'm too chicken to ask someone out, it's not in my personality.  If I had to talk to someone I would talk to a single guy more of a sitting duck if you're by yourself.  Make eye contact with people which a lot of people don't do.

Q: Seems liking you were meeting a lot of men.  True?

A: I'm pretty open to meeting people.  Rather than approaching a man directly, talk to people around you, people serving you coffee.  People pick up on that and know that you're not a total bitch having a terrible day.  Ask people at Starbucks how they're doing - they stand around all day asking everyone how they are and no one asks them.

Book Cover

Q: Why do you think the site became as successful as it did?
A: From a purely practical standpoint, I was so early in the game.  It was before bloggers came on the scene.  Now so many people writing about their dates, whereas not that many were when I was doing it.  People like following the concept of 50 dates, a defined number. People have now done so many extreme things.  A woman from England went on a thousand dates in a year, dating many people in a day I don't know how that works.  Hopefully there was sincerity about what I was doing, a cluelessness that people could relate to.  Some of the things I was talking about are at a remedial level, so people can follow along with that.

Q: How will release of book affect your love life?
A: I just got out of a relationship that started last summer.  He was kind of panicked about book coming out so I can see how that could be a problem.  But the book was written a couple of years ago.  I might worry if I was a guy about lack of boundaries but I don't write about my personal life anymore.  My last boyfriend was pretty traditional, kind of wanted to be written about because I had written about other guys.

Q: What's up next for you?
A: I want to write another book about relationships.  I'm working as a proofreader right now, my first day job in over four years and I love it.  I like editing and proofing.  Writing can be draining.

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