Chevy Impala SS: A staight-line shooter

Fresh from a performance overload with the Mazda Speed3 we tested last week, I was salivating over the prospect of taking out another speed monster, the Chevy Impala SS, which I expected to be leaps and bounds ahead of its younger sister Cobalt SS that I also absolutely adored.

The Cobalt was a wing and trim-laden flier decked in an  outrageous yellow shell that screamed boy or girl racer. Twice I was followed on Long Beach's Ocean Boulevard by undercover cops (though quite how undercover an unmarked Crown Victoria with massive aerials is, is open to debate).

So I expected more of the same with the Impala SS.  Until they delivered it.

I hate to say it, but I thought they'd delivered the wrong car, that it was some horrendous mistake and that the car in front of me  would, incredibly, require  slippers and beige corduroys to step into the front seat. The Impala SS, heavily touted for its blistering performance and build quality, looked like a car that  my granddad -  were he still an earthly being - would enjoy puddling along to the local domino club.

Nothing too exciting on display

So I'm being a bit harsh but I could not shake that feeling, each time I looked at the current incarnation of GM's famous speed demon, that there was something missing, that the car's looks had aged none-too-grandly, that a potent youth had grown tired,  a muscular lift had drooped, so to speak.  Its chrome trim and wheels, a last, desperate bid to Viagra-fy it,  did little to arrest that sinking feeling, nor did quickly finding out it was front-wheel drive.

Which is fine otherwise for the Impala, as in its usual, non-supercharged form  is pretty much a car for the older, more discerning driver, or one for fleet sales.  And it does what it is suited to well. It's just that there are few frills, or thrills, on the SS variant as far as I could see. The interior was real bland compared to the Cobalt and didn't boast a top-notch stereo or sports seats or the like (though at least it was a major improvement on last year's model).

The performance variant was fast. Very fast. In a straight line (like its forebears).  Yes there are  performance struts and shocks and a tightly-sprung suspension and stiffened chassis  and stability controls but I just didn't think it was that much fun. Especially compared to the Cobalt.  It didn't leap off the mark like the Cobalt. It didn't willingly rip round corners. The steering seemed a muddle and a mess with all that power going through those front wheels. It did ... I'm not sure what it did. It went fast, I guess.

Which was fine 20 years ago but now, pretty much everything moves fast. The Saturn Aura seemingly moved almost as quick. As did the middle-range Dodge Avenger. Even pocket rockets priced in the mid-teens are hitting 160 mph.

Gimme a Cobalt SS any day

Some good things:   it's a trusty small-block V8 and delivers more than 300 horsepower. Sticker price should come in - especially if you mention this review - at under $30,000, which is relatively rarified in this sector. It'll go 0-60 mph in 5.6 seconds. Its monocoque - or unibody - outer shell has stiffened the Impala's 18-year-old chassis markedly from its predecessor (and the engine upgrade gives you upwards of 60 lb-foot of torque on the old SS).

Better things: when they came to take it away. But I'd  sure love them to deliver another Cobalt SS.

Functional interior

Roomy cabin

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