Dear Goddess,

I'm so depressed. I just endured another lonely New Year's Eve without getting to kiss the man of my dreams.  During the year, I feel fine because I am busy with work and a blur of obligations.  But during the holidays and especially New Years I get particularly blue because I am so painfully aware of how alone I really am.  I keep hearing myself ask, 'When will my prince finally arrive?'  I do all the right things. I write my affirmations, go to all the right places to see and be seen, make good eye contact, and most of my friends would say I am attractive.  So WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? How come I am starting off the New Year alone' again?  Do you have a suggestion for me to change my pattern so that perhaps I will be happily coupled by this time next year???

Help me Goddess,


Desperate Donna



Dear Donna,

I know that you speak for many.  This time of year, more than any other time, brings to the surface our deepest longings and desires.  Along with the awareness of what it is we truly want to have in our lives is the awareness of the absence of what we desire.

Perhaps the only thing missing from your 'plan to get the man' is your attitude of gratitude, appreciation and awe for where you are right now.  Yes, I know that where you are right now in your life pales in comparison to the technicolor of your dreams and desires.  However, if you were able to see things from the Goddess perspective, you would throw yourself a parade to celebrate how well you are doing.  Think about it, you have never been more compassionate, wise, insightful, and intelligent than you are right now.

'Your attitude is your altitude', as they say.  When you devalue your life circumstances because they are not presently what you aspire toward, then you create a resistant energy force field around you that deflects, instead of attracts, the very thing you want.  And when you are grateful for the amazing grace of the place that you are in right now, you become magnetic for more, bigger, and better to come your way.

I know this might sound counter intuitive (I can already hear the 'yeah but.').  You are probably thinking, 'If I was so happy being single, why would I bother spending the time trying to attract a relationship?' 'And what is there to be grateful for in my lonely little life?'

And I say to you to consider the saying, 'That, which appreciates, appreciates.  And that which depreciates, depreciates.'

As Abraham says in essence (as channeled through Esther Hicks), the ideal place of attracting and allowing people, things and opportunities that you desire is to come from a joyous place of appreciating what you currently have. And as you do this, sit expectantly at the edge of creation, excited about what wonderful people, places and events are sure to come into your life from this infinitely expanding source energy, of which you are an intrinsic part.

I'm sure if you were to look at your life objectively you would count at least 1,000 things that are wonderful right now.  Ok, if you can't name 1,000, then pick 10 things that you are grateful for:  i.e, your health, the roof over your head, good friends, a job that you are passionate about, and, let's face it, you aren't stuck in an unhappy relationship!

Remember, when you are grateful, you are full of greatness, in a state of grace that makes you magnetic and attractive, and your joy and appreciation will be contagious.  Approach this New Year from the vantage point of deep appreciation for who you are and where you are now, as you revel in the joyous expectation of the good things, people and opportunities that are magnetically aligning for you now!

Enjoy your New Year!

Photo by Carl Studna

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