Dear Goddess,      

Why are the holidays such a relationship landmine? As Christmas approaches my relationship (and my mood) is quickly heading south! My boyfriend and I keep bickering over the stupidest things:  where we will spend the holidays, what presents to buy, not enough money, etc… At the rate we're going, our relationship may not survive the winter.  What can I do to save my relationship and keep some semblance of holiday cheer?

Bah Humbug,

Barbara

Dear Barbara,

Frankly, my dear, are not alone.  Many couples experience their greatest highs and lows during this time of year.  First of all, money issues are usually peaked this time of year (the #1 reason for disagreements among couples), not to mention all the pressure we put on ourselves to have the perfect Holiday celebration, buy the perfect gifts, and get along perfectly.  All the eggnog in the world can't take away the pain that comes with reality's inability to measure up to our holiday fantasies! 

However if you want to give your relationship a boost this Christmas, take a holiday away from the holidays and give your boyfriend the gift of presence.  In the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle, carve out a few precious moments for

some huddled up-cuddled up-bundle-up time together…heart to heart, soul to soul, God to Goddess…where you both can unwind and unwrap all the pressures and expectations superimposed upon you by the frenzy of the season…just the two of you, united under one mistletoe.

Tell your boyfriend, "I know we've been having a bumpy time lately…but, I want you to know, that YOU are more important to me than any of the holiday accoutrements we've been nit-picking over."

Relationship Presence Gift Ideas:

• Reminisce about your first date
• Recall qualities that initially attracted you to one another
• Write each other an early Christmas card listing the traits you admire most.

Once you've unwrapped your Christmas Presence, then broach the subject of where to go, who to see, what to buy, etc… As you are both present to your magical love connection, you should both feel more flexible and accommodating as you make holiday choices that satisfy you both! 

Remember, there is nothing more precious than the gift of your presence!!!

Kelly Sullivan Walden is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Human Design Analyst, and Spiritual Counselor who began leading Goddess Queen Gatherings after a life-altering encounter with her inner Goddess Queen.  Kelly is the author of "Discover Your Inner Goddess Queen…an Inspirational Journey from Drama Queen to Goddess Queen" (available on www.goddessqueen.com & www.amazon.com).  Kelly's vision is a world where all people are living as Goddess Queens and Divine Kings in their everyday lives.  To turn your relationship drama to phenomena, contact Kelly at goddess@lasplash.com.  For interviews, speaking engagements, private sessions, or information about how you can create your own Goddess Queen Gathering, you may contact Kelly at:  kellygq@aol.com.

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