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photo by John Graf
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Dear Goddess,
I am a woman trapped in the body of a man. I'm at the midway point in my process of becoming a woman, but you could say that, for now, I'm in 'no-man's land.' I feel so lonely and hungry for love, yet when I go on-line to a 'get-a-human-to-play-with' site, I find that I must choose between "man seeking woman", "woman seeking man", "man seeking man", or "woman seeking woman". I don't fit into any of these categories, yet I fit into all of them. Being a delicate, caring woman and yet a virile and greedy bastard of a man leaves me feeling... well, confused, left out, crazy, freakish, lonely and maybe just beyond the hope of human relationship on this planet. Maybe there is a star in the distant galaxy filled with other 'shemales' like me' one can dream.
But for now, I need help finding my place in this world. I'm tired of looking for love in all the wrong places, I don't feel that porn is in my future and I don't care for the typical gay lifestyle. Do you think there is a shred of hope for someone like me in the love department of life?
Thank you for your patience,
Shemale Sheva
Dear Sheva,
I so appreciate your candor and your question. Yes. I believe that if you truly desire to swim in the deep end of intimacy and not just frolic in the shallow end, then there is a swimming partner out there for you. Keep in mind that the ocean of true love isn't for wimps' many are called, but few actually take the plunge. If you are truly responding to love's yearning and not just reacting to a fantasy born of an inability to be with self, then keep swimming. I believe that there truly is someone out there for EVERYONE' if you are willing to go through the highs and lows of love's initiation.
This stage of love's initiation has nothing to do with your sex-change operation and everything to do with your own self-acceptance and willingness to alter your self-image. Instead of seeing yourself as freakish, you could hold yourself as the ideal woman and the ideal man wrapped up in a single package (no pun intended). You could see your sensitivity and virility as being the best of both worlds. Your compassion and understanding for both genders has made you wise, insightful and quite a catch.
Take your focus off of where, when and how you are going to meet true love and instead, focus on the amplification of your own self-love. Make a list of all the things you love and admire about yourself: your compassion, wisdom, depth, courage, kindness, loving heart, the color you painted your toenails, etc'
Once you get into counting your charms, you'll see that your list is endless. When you recognize the preciousness of your being and love being at home within your own body, regardless of its many changes, your love sonar will become amplified, and the person meant for you will show up in the most unexpected of places' usually when you are not looking for him or her, but are reveling in the juiciness of being alive in your own delicious body.
Besides, at this stage of the game, if you don't enjoy your own company, how can you expect someone else to? Connect with the God and Goddess within you' and remember that you are a one-of-a-kind jewel, divinely made, precisely as you are. Release attachment to the way others do what they do...and remember that yours is a unique path that is paved in gold. Trust in the knowing that your oceanic heart will find its fulfillment' on the shores of this planet.
Enjoy your swim,
Goddess Kelly
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Photo by Carl Studna
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Kelly 'Goddess' Sullivan-Walden is a Relationship/Dream Coach who began leading Goddess Queen Gatherings after a life-altering encounter with her inner Goddess Queen. Kelly is the author of 'Discover Your Inner Goddess Queen' an Inspirational Journey from Drama Queen to Goddess Queen', as well as the upcoming '21st Century Dreamer's Dictionary' (Warner Books). Kelly's vision is a world where all people are living as Goddess Queens and Divine Kings in their everyday lives. Do you have relationship questions? Ask Kelly how to turn your relationship drama to phenomena. For interviews, speaking engagements, private sessions, or information about how you can create your own Goddess Queen Gathering, ask Kelly or check out her Goddess Queen Unlimited Website.
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