Dear Goddess,

The good news is that I have a boyfriend who I am crazy about.  The bad news is, I am not the only person who is crazy about him, and this is driving me crazy!  It seems like every time we go out in public, women fall over themselves to talk to him, flirt with him and get his attention.  I find myself paranoid and angry every time a woman acts out inappropriately.  It's gotten to the point where I no longer enjoy going out with him.  I love him, but I am considering breaking up because I can't stand living this way.  Not to mention that I am in constant fear that he will leave me for one of these obnoxious, drooling women. 

Help me Goddess,

Insecure Irene

Dear Irene,

Every woman dreams of being with a handsome prince, but most of us never read the fine print.  Every relationship comes with its price and you can either let the price deduct from your self-esteem or add to it. 

In this case, the price you pay is having to deal with all the damsels in distress that haven't yet found their prince that are trying to hook up with yours. Remember how Cinderella's nasty stepsisters tried to steal her handsome prince?  If this guy is your true prince, he will notice that no one fits the glass slipper but you. 

Your self-esteem can begin to be boosted when you realize that these women don't pose a threat to you.  They are just immature and don't realize that falling all over a man might fluff up his ego, but it never wins his devotion. 

Your issue isn't a matter of trusting your man to be faithful to you and not run off with one of these women.  It is more of a matter you trusting you not to run from yourself, while remaining committed to holding yourself as the goddess that you are.

Contemplate the following questions:

How committed are you to you? 

How quickly do you leave you when these women drool over your man?

If you'll notice, it's you, not him that leaves the scene of the crime when the women drool.

Heed the wise words of Goddess Eleanor Roosevelt,

'No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission.' 

Your distress is because you are relating to yourself and your boyfriend from a skin deep perspective.  You are insecure because maybe you feel you are on an uneven playing field, and that your boyfriend is 'prettier' than you.  And if that is as deep as your relationship goes, then leave now while you're still ahead.

However, if you and your boyfriend are committed to discovering the true richness of romantic love that is higher and deeper than the ego thrills and spills of a superficial relationship, then hold on, your relationship is about to get juicy!  Your opportunity is to discover your true value that supercedes all that you could ever be on the surface. 

The confidence and security you are looking for does not lie a safe distance from the fanatical women of this world.  Your confidence lies in your ability to relate to yourself as a goddess, not a mere mortal.  You are not just a human that has fleeting goddess experiences.  You are a goddess having fleeting human experiences! This perspective will remind you that you are infinitely more than this situation' that your true beauty is more brilliant than the sun, more spectacular than any rainbow, and more dazzling than all super models in the world combined! 

And this is also true for your boyfriend.  It is chauvinistic of you to minimize him as the sum total of his good looks and the attention he gets.  When he knows that you really see the true HIM, and when you are relating to yourself as the true YOU, your insecurities will vanish and your relationship gold will be revealed. 

Together, you and he will be role models that inspire others about what is possible in the domain of relationship. 

Enjoy!

Photo by Carl Studna

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