With Valentine's Day in our midst, and relationship drama (or the potential for relationship drama) at an all time high, instead of writing in the typical question and answer format I normally do for this column, I decided to simply address many relationship questions with one fell swoop. 

One reason I believe 'Relationship' has become such a rotten apple of disenchantment, especially with women around Valentines Day, is not so much because of the fairytales with which we were programmed as small, suggestible young princes and princesses, but because of our misguided interpretations of those fairytales. 

Take, Cinderella, my childhood American Idol.  Here you have a poor, sweet girl that is saved from the cruelty of an evil stepmother and her sinister stepsisters by a handsome prince. 

The message I inferred from this fairyjail was if you want Prince Charming to come to your rescue, then you'd better be a victim, a damsel in distress, or someone that needs to be rescued.

This Valentines Day (and why not make it everyday, for goddess sake) give yourself the gift of a Fairytale facelift, and a relationship makeover.  Take off your rose-colored glasses and use your Goddess magnifying glass to read the fine print on the warning label that says,

'Every character in every fairytale represents the various aspects of yourself as you travel your own personal hero/shero's journey. Any attempts to try this at home or take this story literally are strongly discouraged.'

With a fairytale makeover you can see that Cinderella really represents your innocence, your inner child that is full of wonder, naivete and magic. 

The evil stepmother and sinister stepsisters represent your inner critic, self-doubt and ego. 

The Fairy Godmother represents your higher self that is connected to the spirit realm of miracles. 

The handsome prince represents your inner hero, your confident, powerful, royal self that picks you up by your bootstraps (or glass slippers) and carries you into the sunrise of higher possibility.

When you realize that all the characters in every fairytale are you, then you realize that you no longer need to wait for the handsome prince, because you are him! You can also see that there is no evil stepmother out there.  The critic is within you, and she needs to be faced, embraced, erased and replaced with your own inner fairy godmother (or inner goddess, as the case may be).  At this point you can be the belle of the ball as your divine feminine and sacred masculine dance together in perfect balance and harmony within yourself. 

When you give your relationships a fairytale facelift you will no longer see the challenges that arise between you and your beloved as a red flag.  Instead you will see that the challenges (whether you are flying solo or in tandem) as an opportunity to grow, develop and engage your own courage, resourcefulness, intuition, and fairy godmother/goddess mojo. 

You will also realize that the intent of a romantic relationship is not to rescue or be rescued, but rather to evolve from glory to greater glory along your unique path of initiation, illumination, and enlightenment.

Happy Valentine's Day

Photo by Carl Studna

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