When to bring someone new home to meet your family: This is great advice for single arents or someone dating a single parent.
Dating after divorce or a break up can be tricky if you're a single parent. The rules change once you become a parent. I know. I am telling you from experience and so that you don't make the same mistakes I made. They can be hurtful. Not just to you but the most important individual in your life. Your child.
I remember after the father of my daughter passed away I was very fragile. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever get into another relationship but I also knew that I did want to give my daughter the option of a complete family. I met a great guy or so I thought. We were very much in love and I was so excited to share him with my family right away. I didn't have a care in the world. I introduced him to my daughter and my parents after just a few short months. My daughter grew very attached and always asked for him. We ended up breaking up after one year of dating. Apparently it "was too much to handle" for him to date a single parent. Wish he would have told me that from the get go! Not so much because of me but because of my daughter. She had lost her dad and now it felt like loosing another father figure all over again. It's not his fault. He should have maybe thought about my daughter when you don't have children yourself it is tough to understand or be compassionate until you have children of your own. It was my mistake for being too excited too fast and not thoroughly getting to know the person and their strengths, weaknesses and intentions before opening up the most treasured part of my life. My family.
So here are a few tips on how to help keep that from happening to you:
- Within the first 6 months of getting to know a person would be too soon to bring your date home to mom and especially to your children.
- After 6 month of being in an exclusive relationship and if you feel that the relationship is going to be longterm, would be the appropriate time to bring your date home to mom.
- Dating and children is a sensitive matter. It is no longer just about you. You have to be first and foremost considerate to your child(ren). You don't want to introduce your children to everyone that you're dating. First it isn't being a good role model to your child(ren) and second, you want to make sure that this person is here to stay to teach your child(ren) stability and not everybody is special to mommy or daddy.
- Gifts to bring: For the family it would be appropriate to bring flowers and chocolate. For the child(ren) a stuffed animal.
- Sharing the same bedroom with the family is a big NO until you are engaged and you are both committed to making the family a WHOLE.