Will Stressed out Stazia find freedom from the pressures of her big, fat, Italian family?
Will Turbo Tawny create her dream wedding while juggling a 14 yr old son and 2 jobs?
Will Vulnerable Veronica break her bionic bond to Mr. Married Man & find true love?
I'll cut right to the chase I suffer from severe anxiety attacks. The core issues I face are feelings of inadequacy at work and with my big, fat, Italian family. I am 36, unwed, and without any children, which gives my controlling family members lots of ammunition to berate me which in turn I use to berate myself. I've recently begun taking meditation classes which are helpful, however, I have not figured out how to bring the peace and calm that I feel in meditation into these stressful areas of my life!
Help me Goddess,
Stressed out Stazia
You sound to me like a very sensitive person that soaks up the stress that surrounds you like a sponge. What you need is a great, big, beautiful shield a Goddess Shield! Close your eyes and take three deep breaths exhale all negativity, stress, pressure from controlling family members, and all pressure from yourself about marriage and children just for a moment allow yourself a reprieve from all that would weigh you down or cause you any pain or stress.
Inhale a beautiful golden light in through the crown of your head, and let it filter its way all the way down your body, through every cell, tissue, muscle, and fiber. Once you feel saturated with calm, peace, levity, and confidence; imagine the most beautiful, powerful shield you've ever seen this can be a shield of light, armor, or maybe a cashmere blanket whatever you imagine is perfect. Feel your shield surrounding your entire body, from head to toe...deflecting all negativity, and bringing you into a space of support and upliftment toward YOUR highest and most authentic expression. Now for a moment, envision and feel yourself soaking in (like a sponge) all the empowerment, wisdom, and love from the great Goddess herself bringing in the awareness of your highest self, allowing yourself to feel the freedom, grace, ease, and confidence that is your natural birthright.
In this space, you are completely free from all negativity in fact when you envision this shield around you, you might try to feel stressed, but the harder you try to feel stressed, the more difficult it becomes. Surrounding yourself with your Goddess shield, will help you to create a space of grace that cannot be erased by the ridiculousness of the drama around you (p.s. all drama is ridiculous anything that would imply that who and what you are is less than perfect just as you are, is a LIE!)
Now imagine yourself at a family gathering, and the normal stressful circumstances are there, but envision that something different has come over you your Goddess Queen Shield and you cannot help but smile because you have awakened to the truth about who you are!
Implement your Goddess Shield for 5 minutes a day at work, with your family, or a date with a prospective Mr. Right. In this safe, loving, nurturing space, remind yourself that with regards to marriage and children, we are all unique-one-of-a-kind beings that cannot be compared with anyone else. If a deep, meaningful, intimate relationship is in deed what YOU desire (not because anyone thinks you should but because it is what your soul signed up for) then relax and become willing to release anything and everything that stands in the way of your ability to allow this into manifestation.
In this state, you become a magnet for love and wonderful opportunities to find you all you have to do is remember your Goddess Shield, and let the goddess inside guide your stride, as you enjoy the ride!
My drama is trying to put together a wedding; I'm also a mother of an active 14 yr old, I work 2 full time jobs, never have enough time for myself and I'm continuously looking toward the future and what I need to do now to be better prepared for it. I can't focus on one thing to completion and I feel very scattered all the time and yet, can't get the attention I need from someone long enough to fully explain the exasperation I am experiencing!!! I could definitely use your help!
First of all, you deserve a medal of honor raising an active 14 year old, working at two full time jobs, AND planning a wedding for Goddess sake, you are Super Woman!
In order for you to not just survive but thrive in this abundantly full and exciting life you have, stop, drop, and give me 3! Three deep breathes that is! Allow each exhale to release and let go of all your scurry, worry, and hurry (after all, Chicken Little would have accomplished a lot more if he'd taken a moment to breathe And as my father always used to tell me, "The hurrier you go, the behinder you get!") For a few moments, allow your stress to melt away (it won't kill ya!)
With every new breath, breathe in your connection with infinity...with spaciousness with the vastness of your being that transcends your physical circumstances in other words, connect with your inner Goddess let her transport you deep into the heart of your plentiful, luxurious, peaceful, graceful inner sanctuary.
Repeat the "Stop, Drop, and Give me 3" routine at least 3 times throughout the day or whenever your adrenaline begins to rev.
Now, about all of your doing I have 3 words for you: Delegate, Delegate, Delegate
A Goddess friend of mine, (who happens to have 4 children between the ages of 10-18, a full time job, and a wedding she is planning) told me that she discovered "grace comes through community" especially with a Wedding everyone loves weddings (almost everyone there are a few bitter exceptions, but we won't go there now). When people discover you are planning a wedding (especially if they are invited), it is very typical to hear, "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." Your job is to have a dozen copies of your "Wedding To Do List" on you at all times so that when a friend or family member innocently asks, or even when you see a generous twinkle in their eye, hand them a list, and highlight the tasks you'd like them to handle for you. Tell them with a smile, "It can be your wedding gift to me".
Learning how to delegate during the planning of your wedding will be great practice for you to apply in the other areas of your life. Yes, I know that no one is as capable as you to handle the 1,001 tasks that must be done on a daily basis to keep your life operating as the well-oiled machine that it is however when you allow others to help you from time to time, you avoid unnecessary break-downs, and you can actually enjoy the ride what a concept!
To learn that one does not have to do everything, be all things to all people, at all times, in order to be loved or approved of, is an acquired skill. It is also an act of generosity to allow others to be of service to you, as you are to them.
Connecting with your inner Goddess will help you to become comfortable with delegating, receiving help, and living inside the grace that can only take place through community. Enjoy your wedding your marriage, and your life!!!
Lots of drama in my life! I've been unsuccessfully working to pry myself away from a 3 year relationship with a married man who has continually told me that he will get a divorce but never does due to the fact that he has two children, ages 11 and 14! Promises, promises! And, I'm feeling so fragile about myself because I haven't met anyone else that I am attracted to, so I keep getting seduced back in! I am a Christian and never thought this would happen to me!
At least it's finally beginning to dawn on me that I may be wasting my time hoping for a future with him. But, he's so wonderful! I am 38 and wonder if I will ever, ever, meet the right one. I am attractive, nice, sweet, giving, person who is a flight attendant and although I meet a lot of men, it's only for a few seconds and they all live all over the country - hard to meet someone lasting pouring cokes on a short flight. Try dating someone in New York, California, Boston, when you live in Austin. Any help or ideas from you would be gratefully appreciated!
I'm going to tell it to you straight: A series of flings with a thousand men from New York and Boston is a thousand times better than you hanging your hopes on Mr. Married Man. My intuition about you is that you are clearly bonded to him and these are the best years of your life! Please follow your own advice, and MOVE ON!!! As intoxicating and seductive as this passion is, make no mistake about it, this passion is poison! Heed the warning: Every time you see this man, your bond deepens, and you become immune to the charms of other men! So, please, for Goddess Sake, don't see him anymore. If his divorce goes through and a year passes, and he pursues you and you happen to be available, then perhaps there is hope for this romance (like a snow balls chance in you know where) otherwise, take my word for it, from one Goddess to another, there is someone much better out there for you!!!
Breaking this bionic bond requires heavy ammunition and you've got to take this seriously! It's a blessing that you are a flight attendant! Begin to date everyone and anyone that asks you out, from coast to coast even if you hate it until you meet someone worthy of you and who is happy to fly into the sunset with you and beyond!
In the meanwhile, take a moment (or moments as many moments as you can muster) every day to fill yourself with the love you are craving from Mr. Married Man, or Mr. Anyman for that matter look in the mirror, into your own beautiful eyes, and tell yourself, "Veronica, I love you I am committed to you I promise to be 100% responsible for having a magnificent life that I love I will only allow myself to bond with available, loving men that are worthy of my love I love who you are, I love who you are, I love who you are!"
Fake it 'til you make it, and act as if until your self-love fills you up and guides you to make choices that are inspired by the vision of your highest and best self. When you let your inner Goddess take the lead in your love life, you will be able to withstand a brief period of pain that will pass through while you detox from Mr. Passion/Poison, and before you know it he will be out of your system and your inner Goddess Queen will lead you to the perfect place, to the perfect people, on the perfect flight, in the perfect time, if you will only allow her!