I really need your help. There is a man I?ve been dating for the past seven years. All my friends and family members LOVE him and think he?s the one for me. I call him Ol? Faithful because he?s always there for me even in the midst of my ?grass is greener? episodes:
Lapses of time characterized by me breaking up with him?dating someone else that seems perfect and exciting?devastatingly realizing that the flavor of the week wasn?t all that he was cracked up to be?crawling back to Ol? Faithful?being welcomed back with open arms?feeling extremely grateful for him for about a week?then the frustration and boredom creeps back in, the grass begins to look greener somewhere else?and then cycle repeats. He says that he?ll wait forever for me to realize that he?s the one. He is such a wonderful guy--supportive, kind, generous, handsome, successful?and he loves me--so why can?t I just settle down with him? Why do I feel so restless? How can I escape the ?grass is greener? syndrome? Why do I have so many questions? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Help me Goddess,
There are ?Lovers? and there are ?Leavers?, you, my dear, are a ?Leaver??that?s not to say that you don?t love, but when push comes to shove, you look for the door. I?m going to answer your question with a story. A dear friend of mine who happens to embody the same ?Leaver? archetype as you, globetrotted around the world, went from man to man, and bed to bed in her search for the greenest grass?meanwhile her Ol? Faithful waited patiently. Finally, exhausted from her travels, trials and tribulations, she came home for good?to the loving arms of Ol? faithful?and she?s been smiling ear to ear ever since.
This story is reminiscent of many legends where the Hero/Shero travels the world searching for gold, only to find it in their own backyard.
My friend, by the way, has no regrets for taking so long to realize the gold was in her very own green backyard. And why should she? Searching for the best mate is part of the biological imperative. The survival of the fittest and the perpetuation of our species depends upon this opportunistic impulse. So if there is any shame at your restlessness, feel free to drop it, because it really isn?t personal. You owe it to yourself to not step lightly into a serious life-long partnership?you owe it to your future children to be clear, to your grandchildren?s children, to the human race for Goddess Sake!
Yes, I know the back and forth dance, at some point, has got to stop, and you will have to deal with the issue of ?wherever you go, there you are?, and the woman in the mirror that you can?t outrun.
So, while you are testing the quality of the relationship grass out there on the prairie of love, don?t forget to simultaneously cultivate your relationship with your inner Goddess?your spiritual access, your higher self. As you do this, you will develop heightened intuition, a sense of reliability with your own romance radar, the eyes to see and the heart to recognize who is highest and best for you, and the ability to sit still and be at home within your own skin?which will give you the ability to ultimately be able to be at home with the man you choose.
Best of love and luck!
photo by Jenn Moseley
Kelly Sullivan Walden is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Human Design Analyst, and Spiritual Counselor who began leading Goddess Queen Gatherings after a life-altering encounter with her inner Goddess Queen. Kelly is the author of ?Discover Your Inner Goddess Queen?an Inspirational Journey from Drama Queen to Goddess Queen? (available on www.goddessqueen.com
), as well as the upcoming ?21st Century Dreamer?s Dictionary? (Warner Books). Kelly?s vision is a world where all people are living as Goddess Queens and Divine Kings in their everyday lives. To turn your relationship drama to phenomena, contact Kelly at [email protected]
. For interviews, speaking engagements, private sessions, or information about how you can create your own Goddess Queen Gathering, contact Kelly at: [email protected]