I'm in a "make it or break it" place in my relationship with my girlfriend. Half the time we are fighting and the other half of the time we're avoiding eachother, or rather, I'm avoiding her for fear of fighting ALL the time! I still love her but all romance feels buried beneath the anger, resentment and hurt I feel every time she speaks to me in a harsh tone or gives me one of her famous dirty looks. I keep hanging in there praying, hoping and waiting for a miracle to happen
but honestly I don't think I can wait much longer.
Afraid of a Blue Christmas,
Your questions are perfect for the "drama" stage of relationship: "Should I stay or should I go?" "Should I leave or should I love?" And, of course, the holidays show up just in time to add that extra bit of chill to feelings of separation. In this critical juncture, it may very well be time to call it quits. Or it may be time to leave the pattern and not the relationship itself. Clearly an ending of some kind is in order, as well as a new beginning is beckoning.
If your relationship survives this Christmas season, perhaps the greatest gift of all would be continuing riding this relationship sleigh into a whole new dimension of love
perhaps this could be the opportunity of a lifetime
maybe even the reason you were born! Whatever you do, allow clarity from your highest guidance to steer the sleigh
so that you don't leave five minutes before the miracle!
To assist you on your quest for clarity, consider the wisdom of East Indian Saint, Ananda Mai Ma, in what she called the Law of the Rose:
"Can you love another more than your own pain?"
In other words, can you love your beloved more than the hurt you feel when she holds up a mirror that reflects to you your own negative self-judgments, doubts, fears and insecurities?
Ananda Mai Ma also said, "All emotional suffering is a result of forgetting that you are God." It's EXCRUTIATING to forget you are divine, magnificent, and at one with all the love and goodness in this universe!!!
When your girlfriend speaks to you in a harsh tone or gives you one of her famous scowls, know that in those moments, she too has fallen asleep to who she really is and has temporarily forgotten she is God/Goddess. We human beings do very strange and destructive things to one another when we forget our divinity. If you keep this awareness close to your vest, you can avoid the blizzard of your mind that happens when you take her behavior personally, and instead, develop compassion toward her and yourself for your forgetfulness.
Another suggestion for finding shelter from the storm with your girlfriend (this is actually the short-cut to clarity and unity) is to pray together. Here is an example:
"Mother/Father God/Goddess, help our hearts to melt away our defenses, our armor and our reactivity
help us to see that there is only one of us here; that any separation or polarization is an illusion; help us to find the solution to this challenge. We know that there is always a blessing in disguise in even the most painful of situations
help us to find it right now! Help us to see each other's beauty, innocence, and magnificence
to know that we both are doing the best we can and that we both have a valid point of view. Help us to be respectful to one another's process. Help us to be loving and kind and treat each other like the gifts from God/Goddess that we are for eachother."
Give thanks in advance for the revealing of the clarity and solutions you seek and know that as you do this together, practice the law of the rose as well as remember your true identity as God/Goddess, I guarantee the clarity you will find will be a neon sign pointing your sleigh, whether solo or tandem, in the direction of your highest destiny!
Best of love and luck!
Kelly Sullivan Walden
is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Human Design Analyst, and Spiritual Counselor who began leading Goddess Queen Gatherings after a life-altering encounter with her inner Goddess Queen. Kelly is the author of "Discover Your Inner Goddess Queen
an Inspirational Journey from Drama Queen to Goddess Queen" (available on www.goddessqueen.com
) and the upcoming "21st Century Dreamer's Dictioinary"
(Warner Books). Kelly's vision is a world where all people are living as Goddess Queens and Divine Kings in their everyday lives. To turn your relationship drama to phenomena, contact Kelly at [email protected]
. For interviews, speaking engagements, private sessions, or information about how you can create your own Goddess Queen Gathering, you may contact Kelly at: [email protected]
Photo by Jenn Moseley