Addicted to Drama...

Do you crave it? Do you get your fix once you get it? Do you find yourself going to extreme measures to achieving it? Would your life be normal without it? Does it stop you from achieving happiness and enjoying life? You may be thinking that I am speaking of all the usual things you associate addictions with like drinking, drugs, and food but have you considered yourself addicted to drama?

For most people that thought wouldn't even cross their minds and may not know what it looks like. The media, soap operas, talk shows and movie all play a big role in the addictive circle as they often portray relationships that are built on lying, cheating, deception, affairs and other dysfunctional behaviors. Drama addiction makes a person "hooked" on the adrenaline rush of relationships and people that appear wildly exciting in their intensity. The person enlists people to play out these roles so they can once again feel that rush. The qualities of this kind of relationship are yelling, screaming, throwing things, fights at three am in the morning, lying, cheating, frequent break-ups and then make-ups, and spying on each other. Watching this type of sensationalist programming awakes a type of extreme emotion in a person and that person may turn around and tailor their own soap operas in their lives.

People who engage in this type of drama have little capacity for anyone but themselves and are usually compensating for lack of self esteem and self purpose. Once the intensity dies the person addicted to drama will leave and quickly move on to find the next "high" or new love. This leads to feelings of abandonment and isolation. The reason for this is because you are never able to fulfill your emotional needs and grow stronger in asking for what you want causing an empty void that you feel can be filled by another dramatic "high".

If you recognize this behavior in you, you can take steps in order to help achieve a healthy relationship. First, examine your past and see where this pattern may have started. Most likely if you behave this way you were taught it growing up and will find people who will participate in the drama. Staying with your partner based on love instead for the drama that he or she was providing will be more fulfilling than you ever imagined. It may be difficult to deal with the loss of intensity of the former way of relationships but it will be replaced with honesty and a foundation of genuine care and respect. Instead of building memories of anger, fights, and anxiety your relationship will be built on communication, dignity and mutual kindness.

Relationships of any kind are work and beginning a honest relationship will take even more work but it will get easier reap better benefits in the long run. And this is ultimately what we all want, to be loved and completely accepted by our partner.

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