Here it goes: I have never been lucky at love or any sort of relationship. It always seems that I am the last one to have anything wonderful happen for me when it comes to romantic relationships. Victoria, please don’t get me wrong, I have had many different girlfriends over the past 16 years! But when it finally seems like I may get some sort of a break, something happens. Either they cheat, or they just leave. I’ve never gotten married or been anywhere close to even being engaged. So, I have no children, and I am the last child in my family who doesn’t. I am now 32 years old, and I don’t think there is any light at end of the tunnel for me.
The problem, if you haven’t understood this yet, isn't really getting out there and meeting women, it is meeting the kind of woman who will stay with me and be there for me. I am so down on my luck in love that I feel it is hopeless to ever believe I can find someone that loves me back the way I want to love her.
I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. I feel more and more everyday so down and depressed because it doesn’t seem like love will ever happen for me, that it has also affected my motivation for most other things in my life, work, school and simply enjoying myself at all. I am not the hopeless romantic I used to be. I am just hopeless. I understand the answers you give me may not be what I want to hear, but any different kind of information should help me some, and so that WILL make it some good news for me, if you see what I mean!
I just wish that I knew what God and the Universe has in store for me about being in a loving relationship. No matter what that might be, I think that that knowledge would motivate me to change my outlook so much so that I would be able to deal with whatever the future holds, in a much more positive way.
Victoria, I hope that you are finding the answers to my prayers, that is what I need to hear!
Would you please do something for me,
Based on the mere fact that you have just stated that ‘any different kind of information should help me some, and so that WILL make it some good news for me…’ I feel encouraged that I can help you Josh, at least to some degree…Before I start, I want you to know that I absolutely ‘get where you are coming from’—and believe I have some information that might be good for you to ‘latch onto:’ and work with…
I empathize with you, that you have been to several other psychics, all of whom (according to what you have told me) gave you information that seemed to be—or was—too vague. Each psychic works in a different way; some excellent psychics are very general, while others can be exceedingly specific. Sometimes I, myself, am general; other times very precise. I have found that often it depends on who the ‘readee’ is, his/her mood that day—and so many other variables. For example, the length of time that the client and I have to work together on something, the sophistication level of the client, metaphysically-speaking, the amount of information the person needs to hear all play a part.
Obviously, some psychics aren’t very good; I’m not going to analyze, here, whether the ones you went to were or were not very sophisticated. Nor, whether you interpreted the information correctly or not…For the sake of getting you some help today, I’m just going to focus on getting you as much information as possible, re the questions you need the MOST help with.
Josh, today my approach will be to be very direct with you. This is more my innate style, anyway. And, since that is the way you heard me be on the radio—that is also the way you related to me…
There are at least 12 elements that need to be addressed in your letter. Unfortunately, that is too much to tackle here and now; my Guides are telling me that there are two aspects, that you need the MOST help on; that by my helping you with these, this will be enough to get you at least a ‘jump start’ towards all the rest.
One of those two, very basic, premises is that you are now very much into a—pattern. Actually, you’re in several… However, the last thing I want you to do is to be hard on yourself! Josh, we ALL get into patterns of various sorts: yo-yo diets, getting fired, losing items such as keys, showing up late for important appointments, etc. etc. Please do hear me: I am not finding with you in what your issues are (nor do I with anyone else); they just happen to be your issues, at this time. Since we all, always, have issues once you’re over this one—there will be others! ...This is not intended whatsoever to have you feel ‘bad’ about yourself; quite the reverse. This is merely what is being shown to me by your Spirit Guides; it is what you need to address right now. Every single one of us has at least some sort of issue that we are working on at this very moment... Later on, there will be different ones! It’s one of the many reasons we’ve come here, to Planet Earth; the cool thing is that once we’ve worked through enough issues—we’ll be able to move on to creating stuff—such as, literally, vacations, homes, cars, sporting activities: and so very much more. One of the reasons I’m saying this is that I am endeavoring to get you to feel much more neutrally, re what YOU need to work on now; the more neutral you are, the less you will be so hard on yourself!
Here is a very basic way I look at patterns, for both myself and all my clients: I have always said that if you try something more than 3 times without succeeding, you’ve already begun to establish at least some sort of a pattern; by time 6 or 7—the pattern is very much established. Josh, you have indicated to me that you have a long history (ie, not just 3, 4 or even 5, probably) of relationships not working out—so, you DEFINITELY are already into at least a few kinds of patterns! You even alluded to one, that you don’t believe that there will ever be a perfect person for you…
Here’s something else going on with you, that is very common, with both men and women. You, like many, many people are in love—with the idea of being…in love! Thanks to romantic movies, novels, television shows (as well as ancient myths), we were all brought up to believe that there is a particular person to meet, fall in love with and spend the rest of our lives with. Unfortunately, that’s all it is—an ideal... Another way of saying this is that it is a myth. I however, believe that most of us do have someone who we are meant to meet up with and be with, and be with romantically. But, as with so many other facets of life, what is meant to be, often doesn’t happen—through not paying attention to intuition (ie, being at the right place at the right time), fears of all sorts (such as commitment, intimacy, etc), people who block us (who for whatever reason don’t want us to find happiness—sometimes sadly, even family members…), so that we don’t even actually meet up with that person we’re meant to be with.
Sometimes, if we go on too long without meeting someone important to us—especially, if we unconsciously and/or subconsciously realize that we ARE meant to find someone, several things often take place: we give up hope and lose interest in any sort of romantic relationship—it’s called ‘apathy;’ or, we blame past partners who have hurt us, our, parents, God—or anyone who we think has prevented us (such as someone who we used to think was a ‘friend’ to us) from finding our perfect mate…etc. Another common way of dealing with this is to ‘sleep around’ a lot, to make up for loneliness and, perhaps, our self-pity. Yet another—and I do feel that this may be your case (remember! I’m not a psychologist!...)—we may get desperate, and begin applying enormous pressure on anyone we might meet, to make her—or him—THE One.
Josh, it feels to me intuitively that you are in some way so consumed with the idea of finding a partner, that it’s hard for you to see the ‘forest through the trees,’ if you’ve ever heard that phrase before! …What that means is that you are so focused on what you think you want, that you’re not able to see anything else. As an example, you may trying to make every girl you meet, THE One…Is this resonating with you? If so, you’re ‘keeping company’ with a lot of other people out there!
Unfortunately, even if she was meant to be the ‘one’—most times this will scare her off! Pretty much anyone will freak out if an extraordinary amount of attention is focused on them, especially in a very short amount of time, after meeting. Perhaps a better way of saying this might be to say that you are coming on too strong for them to handle, and—too fast.
Here’s one more aspect that I feel would be good for you to consider: I feel that you have a great deal of peer pressure from your family. You even tell me that you are the last child in the family who has no children.
And, another thing that you state is that you don’t feel ‘lucky in love;’ this is too much for this Q & A, but I do feel guided to tell you that we absolutely make our own ‘luck...’ You may want to purchase a cd series called The Luck Factor, by Brian Tracey. I’m sure that you can find it by ‘googling’ his name or the title…I believe it is published by www.Nightingale.com.
One important way of transcending (ie, changing…) any pattern, is to acknowledge that you’re in one! This is true for all of us with all patterns. Believe it or not, just by opening up to realizing that you’re stuck in some way, that you have created a pattern that you don’t like—the actual pattern begins, even ever so slightly, to be transformed. Truly…
Here is something I frequently recommend, to clients, in my newsletters and even on the radio: just before you fall asleep at night, surrender the entire topic that’s either causing you a great deal of pain, and/or is an issue that you’re having trouble clearing out, to your Spirit Guides. Here is one way to do this: say telepathically (ie, silently, in your mind’s eye) that you are ready to release whatever the specific issue is that you’re having difficulties with, in all it’s forms. You ask them to take from you the very issue itself, and to begin providing you with simple solutions for you to begin working with, to re-direct your belief system re the issue, plus your ways of handling the issue. Asking them just prior to going to sleep is powerful: we all work on issues on the subconscious and unconscious levels while our bodies are at rest—ie, sleeping! Solutions can come up to our conscious level through dreams and/or inspirations in the morning…The ‘old wives’ way of saying this would be to, “Sleep on it.” I.e., there is a very common understanding that we can get answers for ourselves, plus help, while we’re actually in bed at night, sleeping! Do keep a note pad and pen next to your bed, so that you can write down inspirations and dreams when you first awaken—that is a time when much of what we need to hear from our Spirit Guides comes through for us, in the way we can actually get in touch with it, easily.
Here’s one more way of beginning to transform this long-established pattern. Say numerous each day, the following affirmation: I deserve to be in a loving, loyal, wonderful committed relationship with a perfect partner for me. Here’s another one: I totally trust that God and my Spirit Guides have someone in mind for me to love unconditionally, and to be loved by in the same way. I trust that I am being guided to release whatever might be holding me back from finding this true partner. One more: I KNOW I’m lovable. I KNOW that someone will appreciate who I am, and will want to receive my great love; someone who will respond by giving me the same type of love that I know I deserve. Yet another: I am blessed, I am being guided to find true love.
These are just a very few, yet powerful, ways of beginning to turn around long seated issues or patterns. ANY start you attempt to make, will always help begin the shift towards healing the issue...as I’m always saying, ‘Everything counts.’
I hope this has been of some help to you, Josh. I do totally agree with you, that you definitely have a lot of love to give. And that you deserve to be loved, appropriately, in return. Deciding to make turning around this issue important in your life, actually starts an entire process towards helping that be so; and, is totally worth whatever efforts you put into it.