Good afternoon Victoria,
I am sure you receive a lot of inquiries from people all over the place that sound similar to mine, about what are the most important things to them in their lives. Probably their questions are the same as mine, about their romantic relationships. Anyway, that is my topic for you, about where my relationship is going with my partner and me. We've been dating for over 5 years, and I really do care about him. Over the past 3 or 4 years though, we've had lots and lots of ups and downs, but we are still working very hard to try to stay together. However, these days I'm almost always demoralized, because nothing ever seems to change in our relationship. No matter what I try to do or say, I don't seem to ever be able to have a special feeling for him that I used to, that we were going forward with our commitment to each other. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think we are moving ahead in any way at all, if you understand what I'm trying to explain to you.
My partner has always been very standoffish about showing any kind of affection at all towards me. This is even more so when we're out with friends, or anywhere in public. I used to be exceptionally positive about our relationship, and I believed at some point we would definitely be married. I mean by that that we would be really happily married, and would have a nice family together. But ever since around last August, I have been constantly feeling weighted down by how we always seem to treat each other. Now I'm totally confused about marrying him. Or the way you always talk about it, if it's even meant to be. I don't know anymore if I should keep putting so much effort into this relationship. All my friends tell me that part of the problem is I have a lot more education than he does, but I have never let that bother me. I don't think he has a problem with this either, although sometimes I get the feeling that one reason he refuses to open up to me, is because he doesn't have as much of a vocabulary as I do, and maybe I say too much about what I was thinking. He used to get really angry when we were first dating, when I would try to make him talk to me about his emotions. I have a feeling that he won't get into any sort of conversation with me now, because he's afraid that he'll get really angry, and maybe even do something. So he shuts down instead. I also don't think that I was a very good listener back then, and that he did sometimes try to talk to me, but I was too much into trying to tell him what was going on with me.
Could you please help me out by shedding some light on my relationship with my partner and me? Or tell me if there is someone else I'm supposed to be with instead of him, and if so how in the world will I ever find him, and when? And where is he living now?
I'm also a bit strapped for money lately and will be on a very strict budget for the next year or two. Is there anything else that I could possibly look at doing on the side to earn extra income, and that I also might end up being successful at?
I always hear you talking about people's Spirit Guides and angels, so would you please let me know who is watching over me?
Thank you for reading this, and for your guidance.
Well, Melody, you certainly are correct about what is uppermost in virtually everyone's mind!...Each and every one of us has a deep-seated yearning to find our true soul mate. That someone who, we think, will make us feel 'complete.'
' Since you didn't mention your sweetie's name I'm going to give him one, for the sake of this answer. From here on in, he will be known as 'Harry!'
You tell me that you and Harry have been together for over 5 years. You say that he has always been very 'standoffish' about showing any affection to you (the part about being especially when in public isn't really relevant enough, at this moment). You also mention that you're constantly demoralized, and see no improvement in the way that the relationship is progressing'
The major reason that nothing is moving forward in your relationship, is because you both have been locked in a stalemate. For well over a year. You've asked for help, and my Spirit Guides and I are responding to your request--on multiple levels of your psyche. We are all giving you a lot of support and information on both your conscious level, and on your very deep, ie, soul level. The reason I'm mentioning how much extra help you're receiving, is that it is apparent to them (and me!) how truly genuine a desire you have, on every level, to resolve this relationship in a totally positive, loving, non-kharmic way. By the way, the world needs many more people who are trying to live life the way you are!
Another aspect to this unique help is to insure that you fully understand how you, Melody, deserve to have the very best, loving relationship possible. Here's why I'm being so specific about your being in such a wonderful relationship: you have worked through, in numerous other lifetimes, and in many cases with great difficulty, many, many relationship issues' (It's important to know that once we have finally worked through huge issues, the Universe no longer presents them to us, to be worked through--again). What I feel very strongly that you are doing with Harry, is rehashing similar scenarios from other lives lived together, even from 900 to 1800 years ago. In other words, you're dragging baggage from some lessons learned a long time ago (definitely the hard way)--into present-time. When you shouldn't be experiencing many (if any) relationship woes, at this point!
Because I can see that you're very strong willed, it's important that you understand that my role, here, is to help you assess what is your Divine purpose with Harry; you must make your own decisions, about what you do with your relationship.
In my assessment, I feel that it's important to take a look at the very beginning of your relationship with Harry; ie, when you and he first met. And, even though you may not want to hear this, you knew from the start what his communication skills were like' I'm seeing that you have been recently reviewing, in your mind's eye, what you each said and did back then; also, how you each began, almost immediately, to push the other's buttons. I vividly see your current 'review process' of that time; it's almost as if you are editing a movie, and doing so in a very healthy, adult-type way (Here is where that anger he always has, just under the surface, began' ). You yourself state that you now realize you were not paying attention to his needs at that time, that you were more intent on stating your opinions, issues, feelings, needs, wants, etc. A somewhat sad aspect to that point in time is, he was truly endeavoring to discuss his feelings; he did want to be a 'modern man,' one who would open up, and be able to share what he needed to express--his wants, needs; what bothered him.
Melody, every one of us has at least some regrets about how we handled certain aspects of our previous romantic relationships. Thus, please: don't recriminate about that early 'pairing up stage,' with him. Which I know you do, all the time! One of the phrases I believe I'm most known for, is 'That was then; this is now...' Another way of stating this is, what you previously-- is in the past. So, let it BE--ie, in that past!
You had a few additional questions: one about a different potential soul mate; who your Spirit Guides are; and your budget. Here's some important information re all three topics, and from your Spirit Guides (' one of those topics!): You will be meeting up with a much more suitable, long-term, romantic partner, in approximately October, of 2007 (and--even though you didn't ask a lot about him, he is currently spending some time skiing in the Alps!) . Re the budget, one of the main reasons you and Harry did not break up, one-to-four years ago, is that you needed, on a soul level, to work things through; until you could shift your relationship into--a business one! You two are meant to, from here on in, to be buddies. And--develop a very powerful, working relationship' I don't see you together being quite as big as Donald Trump, but along those lines! You each innately trust each other, no matter what happens. This inherit trust is what will make you ideal business partners; beginning in less than a year from now. I don't have time to go into detail but, please--it will happen.
As for your Spirit Guides, you each have dozens. One of the most powerful Spirit Guides watching over both of you, happens to be Benjamin Disraeli, the former Prime Minister of England (under Queen Victoria' for whom I was named!). I strongly suggest that you read everything available about him that you can, as well as visit places in London that were most important to him, during that life.
If you can trust what I'm telling you, you and Harry will be long-term supporters to each other, will make a fortune together, and--will each move on to more perfect romantic partners. And, fairly soon.
All the best,