It seems that I always have to place my two stepdaughters on a pedestal to his family

Dear Victoria,

Sitting down to write this to you is a very big step for me.  For years I have had a huge yearning to speak to someone credible about my future, life in general and a dream that keeps recurring.  But I'm always afraid that I might hear something that would cause me some emotional pain, or would pertain to somebody in my life who I might need to let go of.  Please, I don't want to hear anything negative, specially if I need to make a drastic change to my life.  If you learn any information that would upset me, I'm asking you not to mention it.

Although I have many specific things I really want to hear about, and I hope that you will answer all the good ones, I suppose the most important thing for me to get help with now is how to have some peace of mind.   I desperately crave this.  I don't know how you go about doing it, but I've heard you talk about how it's very possible to work on getting more of a sense of peace about life.  What can you do for me about this, Victoria? 

My father passed away three years ago this coming June. Where is he, how is he doing, and what does he think about the life he had with my mother and me?  Did he know when he was alive how much I loved and adored him?  If he didn't, does he know that now?  He had cancer that none of us were aware of until the last few days of his life, including him.  He was a terrific man, and he left us too soon.  I wanted him to know and enjoy my children, even until they were grown and had children of their own.  

My mom now has some serious health issues, and is currently living with me and my family.  During the past two or three weeks she's been bringing up a lot of things about my childhood home.  She says she's hearing voices when she wakes up in the morning.  Is this my dad?  Is he watching out for her or me, or my children?  I'm upset with myself because I'm still angry that my dad left, and I also feel constant sadness and bitterness that my mother is so sick.   I feel I'm being very selfish because I'd really like her to stay with another relative, at least part of the time.

I also have many thoughts about my future.  I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and I adore him.  He is far and away the best man I have ever met, except for maybe my dad.  We each have children from our first marriages, and unfortunately both of us are having difficulties with each other's kids.  It seems that I always have to place my two stepdaughters on a pedestal to his family, but my son doesn't get anywhere near the same respect back.  I'm finding that I'm getting a big "chip on my shoulder" toward his daughters.  Do you see anything getting better with our family relations?

I'm afraid to say that I want more for myself.  I feel that I'm in a rut in my job and I feel that all I do is take care of other people.  But my job does fit the hours I need so that I can look after the kids and my mother.  Do you think I need to stay in this job, or can I find something better?  I have to earn some money because we really do need it. 

I finally got the nerve to write to you, and I'm hoping you will answer some of my questions.  Remember please, just the ones with good answers.  

Lori James

Dear Lori,

Don't worry, I promise not to upset you (well--at least not very much' at all!), by telling you anything that you might think is negative.  In fact, it's not in any way, shape or form the way I look at the world, anyhow;  if you've heard of the old 'glass-half-empty/glass- half-full' concept, you'll understand that it's all a matter of one's perspective, anyway. 

You mentioned that your first need is for peace of mind; however, I'll come back to address that a little farther along in my response to you. 

With regards to your father, I know what a shock it was for you and your mother to have him pass on so quickly.  I'd like, though, to help you understand what happened, a little bit differently:  the most important thing was that he did not have a long, protracted illness.  And he did not experience much pain at all.  Also, you did have those last few days together, when you all knew that you needed--TO say your farewells.  Lori, I've found that most people who lose a father or spouse very quickly (such as through a stroke, heart attack or accident) always regret that they didn't have the chance to consciously say 'good-bye.'  At this very moment, your father is showing me that he is quite pleased with the way it worked out for him, and for you and your mother--none of whom had to experience weeks or months of agony or suffering.  So, do please try to let it go, as difficult as I realize that it is for you to hear. 


Yes, your father has been assigned to be a Spirit Guide for your mother, for you, and your children.  Right now, I am seeing him smiling and looking very pleased that you got that  nerve (so-to-speak!), to write to me--and for me to be able to choose your email as one to respond to!  (' It looks to me as though he had a great sense of humor, in life)  He wants you to know that it's important that you be more patient with your stepdaughters; he,  from The Other Side, is working very hard, and in conjunction with the two girls' Spirit Guides to help improve the entire situation.  As for your son, your father is working a lot with him also.  And--with you, so that you learn how to help your son be a bit nicer to them.  Your father is saying that his grandson isn't always an absolute angel, himself' !  I could say a lot more here, but I'm being guided to give you a little information on each of your topics versus a lot on just one or two.

The voices that your mother is indeed hearing are her husband's, plus at least four other family members who are around her a great deal at this time.  The reason that she mentions the house that you grew up in, is due to the fact that she was happy there with you and your father.  As older people so often do, she's reviewing on a  subconscious level both times and places where she felt content and happy during this lifetime.  It's part of a cosmic process to help her realize that she's achieved a lot of what she needed to in this life. 

By the way, there is some relative or friend who would absolutely be willing to have your mother come and stay, from time to time.  I'm not sure right now who that person is, but it's definitely a woman who has curly, grey hair.  Lori, you're not being at all selfish, in wanting some space for yourself.  You have an enormous amount on your plate, and actually need to--just 'be,' some of the time.

A portion of your lack of peace of mind is directly related to the fact that you are always taking care of others:  your mother, your husband, yours-and-his children, people at work, etc. etc.  But, EVERYONE must have quiet time to at least just 'veg.'  (ie, hang-out)!  Even better than just 'vegging,' is to devote some of this quiet time to learn to get in touch with your inner-self, your Spirit Guides, their inspirations and messages to you, and to read inspirational and other books... I've never worked with tarot but I am guided by your father (!) to have you purchase some tarot-like cards, called something like 'Goddess Cards.'  I can visualize the box and the word 'Goddess,' but can't quite see the rest.  I'm sure you'll be able to find them easily on the web, or in some bookstore.  

By the way, I can vividly see your very soul crying out, wanting to have more alone-time:  you owe it to yourself to honor this core aspect of who you truly are'

This following comment of mine hopefully will help you to enjoy even more what is called peace-of-mind:  you and your husband are true, true soul mates.  You and he have been through, literally, thousands of lives together;  this lifetime is meant to be a culmination of many of the other ones.  You asked for only good news.  Here is one spectacular piece of (very) good news:  once all the kiddies out on their own, you and hubby will be begin to create something very important together, which will not only increase your love together, but will support many other people and create much wealth for you both. 

With regards to your job, you have at least three opportunities coming up in the next month, each of which will provide you the flexibility that you need, more interesting work and people, and even a bit more money.  I don't have time to go into details just now, but I have no doubt that you will encounter one-to-all of these possibilities, on your very own!

As your father says, 'be patient!'  It's all (well--almost all' ) good!


For nearly a quarter of a century, Victoria Bullis, the internationally known celebrity psychic, has been helping individuals and high profiled celebrities, such as Anthony Michael Hall and Maria Conchita Alonso, with everyday issues such as relationship and career ventures. 

For personal readings, speaking engagements, seminars, or consultations on how to enhance and make the most out of your business, contact Victoria at [email protected].


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