Sue Thomas- on interracial marriage

Love bug got you love sick, this article will have you love sprung. You readers know I am loose with my words just like inception I will play with your brain but I don't play games so don't get it confused because you will lose. Now that I got you pumping your muscles, let me run a grammar and spell check...

 

Love is a feeling and I also believe a learned action. Our first representation of love comes from our parents. Some come from a single parent home, some have both parents, some are adopted and some left in foster care. We grow and we learn how to treat the person we love by how we saw our parents or adults that surrounded us treat each other. I am so grateful to be blessed with the parents I have. My dad has respect  and is honest, my mom devoted to her husband and kids. But neglect did have a pulse in my family as I am sure in every other family, the pulse wasn't beating because of carelessness. My dad worked 3 jobs because he did not believe in having the woman he loved working and my mother wasn't  going to let anyone raise her kids but herself, she sacrificed her life and let go of her dream, MOMMY I love you!!

 

I know a lot of you are reading. Who the hell am I to even talk about love? I've never been in love, let me justify. I come from a huge family and I'm the second youngest of five kids. What comes from being a part of a big family? A lot of cousins that were constantly in and out of love. As a kid I the prince would sit pretending to watch TV and eat my crunchy cheese doodles, but my ears were wide open. I was listening to how boys played they're game and how girls played the game, and I learned that girls express and boys repress. Boys have egos and the minute you crush it you crush their world. As for me, somebody kidnapped my ego when I was four years old and I never wanted it back. Girls have strength. The one thing that baffles me is people that are in relationships who cheat, I guess they like trouble. It makes more sense to me to just be in an open relationship. That way there can at least be trust between the two.
Freedom of Speech, and I am speaking. 

 

Attention all cheaters: Do  you realize you are putting your lover’s life at risk? You can contract an STD and pass it along to someone that cares for you. It’s obvious you don't care about your lover's well being, or else you wouldn't be cheating. You don't take all the blame, Attention all you sloppy second takers: I hope you can find some self worth, for your own sake that is. I have some to lend if you need it. Read it clear, all my newlyweds be aware of yourselves and your lover so you don't fuck up your child and the world has to deal with a devil!!! MEOW!!

 

I've never been in love but I do know that when I meet the right person I will love them the right way. Until then I refuse to be in a relationship. However here is a story that gives me hope that I can find what I am looking for.

Brother Kusay&Jane wedding, Sister Rana and Tony my 2 favvvvvvv couples,

 


When love strikes between two people it's a feeling that no one can take away. Finally they have met one another and dream of a life together, to love, care for, to hold, in sickness and in health, rich or for poor. Not so simply: When you are in love with someone that is from a different cultural back ground. I have first hand witnessed the devastation that can occur onto someone that has fallen in love and everyone around them is completely against it. This person happens to be my sister Rana, I was a teenager and watched my sister stand tall and change all. She was the woman in love and wasn't going to let anyone's manipulative guilt, beliefs, doctrines and church policies change her mind of the idea, speculation, culture, or race of her lover. In my sister's words”Enough is enough, I am tired of living my life to everybody else's standards, get out of my way." She broke free and if you didn't like it, kiss her courage.

 

There we sat at the dinner table and my dad had to open his mouth. Rana and ex fiance "How are you guys doing?" Ex fiance said the wrong thing, there went my sister. She stood up took off the ring and said thank you but no thanks. World War 4. She went down stairs to her room and I followed her. My two older brothers ran up, fiance saw my two older brothers and he ran his scared ass up to my room. That is a dummy; I would have just run out the house! A week later the love of her life came knocking on the door. He said, "Mr. Rabid, I love your daughter Rana and I know that I am not Arabic. Your tradition is to only marry inside the race but if being with Rana means killing us both then do it!" I still cry to this day!! What a man!

 

My sister made history. She was the first Arabic girl in our community to marry outside of the race with the love and support of our whole family. Also, the first girl to call off her wedding a day before her bridal shower. But it was never meant to be! Hooray For Rana. Usually girls ran away and never have contact again with their families, some girls get beaten into fear, where they would never find the strength to have their voice be heard, some even killed back in the middle east. (How sad) Thank God for my parents. They swallowed their pride and hurt as my dad called his family to inform them on the most exciting day of my sister’s life. It was like stabbing a sword into his heart. Speaking to his sister in California and hearing the voice of one of his nieces yell out go Rana, go girl go. That niece is named Sue and little did anybody know Sue had a BIG SECRET .
 


Here is a story about a beautiful Arabic girl that grew up in a big family. Third youngest of 8 kids all loving and caring, finding their way in America. Everybody wants to fit in and everybody wants to be loved. Sue stood out from other Arab girls. She has a presence and a mouth, if she didn't like something she was going to let you know. Most Arab girls at the time got married right after high school, some arranged and some desperate to get out of a confined home. Where they were not able to go out, have friends or express their feelings, leading them into a rainy boring love life. Sue wasn't having that. She wanted independence and respect as a woman, no one sits baby in the corner and Readers, Sue didn't need Patrick Swayze to defend her. She escaped on her own and captivated a whole community's attention. The love bug bit Sue. We all know LOVE knows no race, culture or regret and when you are in love you DREAM BIG! At least that is what I am told. 

 

Sue fell in love with a black man. Wait a minute did I just write that? Oh, yes I did!!! They say once you go black you never go back, that’s because the white people won’t let you back in but Arabs got some fried chicken and water melon for you. JOKING! But my mouth did just water for some chocolate “Hershey’s almonds Please!!" I thought my sister had it bad, turn the music off, shut the TV and read my heroic cousin Sue Thomas' untold story.


Interracial marriage for those of you that don't know: Occurs when two people of differing racial groups marry, creating multiracial children. This is a form of exogamy  and can be seen in the broader context of miscegenation (mixing of different racial groups in marriage, cohabitation, or sexual relations.)


 
David
Hey Mrs. forbidden love survivor, How are you feeling?


Sue
I am feeling that chocolate craving hahaha. I am on top of the world. I feel great. My family is happy, healthy and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Sue and her husband!!


 
David
I am so excited that you agreed to tell your story! Thank YOU. Now let’s get right to it. The first time you laid eyes on him, where were you and what came to mind?


 
Sue
We were both working at a hospital in downtown L.A. It was my first day at work. Lunch time came and I left my desk to go grab some lunch. I walked into the cafeteria and grabbed a salad and water. It wasn't too crowded so I sat down on a table that was by a window. As I was looking out the window, I heard a voice. “Do you mind if I join you?" I turned my head and there was this tall handsome man standing in front of me. I said, "Not at all."  He sat down and extended his hand and said my name is Earnest. I said, "It's nice to meet you." Then he asked what I was staring at, out the window. I said, "The trees, they look so beautiful in the fall season." He said, "You know what is more beautiful than the trees? Your smile." I melted,”Thank you. My name is Sue."


David
You knew you were playing with fire, breaking the one rule that was the ultimate rule, did that excite you?


Sue
Excite me? NO! I was scared; I mean I wasn't trying to rattle my parent’s cage. I fell in love and as you know our culture is very strict, especially with the girls. We are not allowed to have boyfriends, go out to dance clubs and forget sex. God forbid just talking to a guy. I was a very frightened 21 year old who was just looking for peace and acceptance. I was stuck in a situation that if it were to be exposed, it would ruin my family name. The most heart wrenching part for me at the time was that my dad would walk around in shame and wouldn’t be able to face his peers.


 
David
When was the moment you knew you fell in love with him?


 
Sue
It was Love at first sight. From the moment I met him he had concern for me. That is very hard to find in someone. He was thoughtful to my situation and surroundings.


David
Were you ever in love with someone else before him?

 

Sue
No. I mean I had crushes on different guys growing up. When I met him, I felt something I had never felt before and it was strong.


David
How often did you hear your dad's voice in your head saying "OVER MY DEAD BODY"?


 
Sue
Every second of every day. Love really has a power of its own and we couldn't resist each other.


 
David
Did you confide in anyone of your siblings/were they supportive?


 
Sue
I did speak to some of my siblings about it. The most supportive was my oldest brother and his wife. They were very understanding and really wanted what was best for me.


David
What did you fear the most that would happen to you, when your parents found out?


Sue
I would get killed!! I had a baby out of wedlock. My boyfriend is a black man. The three most disgraceful things for an Arab girl to do. 1st, having sex before marriage. 2nd, having a baby out of wed lock. 3rd, dating a guy that isn't an Arab. I saw my grave every morning and night. Just as long I was alive I was going to do whatever it takes for my baby to be happy and healthy.


David
What was the most difficult part for you in your situation?


Sue
The most difficult part for me was not being able to with my baby after he was born. I told my parents I gave him up for adoption and that I was no longer seeing Earnest, the father of my baby. Earnest took full custody of Matthew. I went back to live with my parents and pretended that it was all over. But it wasn't! I woke up every day and drove to Earnest's apartment, picked up Matthew to take him to daycare. I and Earnest worked together. That was pretty much the way we got to spend time together and after work we would get Matthew from daycare and I would spend as much time as I could with Matthew before having to go back home.


David
How was Earnest in response to your needs in the situation?


Sue
I couldn't have asked for a better man/father. He was supportive and stepped up to the plate and took care of his responsibilities.


David
Was there ever a time the both of you thought, the best thing to do is to end the relationship?


Sue
No! We were always trying to figure out how to stay in the relationship.


David
You ended up getting married to an Arab, but it was a plot. What was your reasoning to that being the best decision for you and how did you convince the love of your life to let you do it?


Sue
I had no choice, my dad literally put a gun to my head and said he would kill me if I ever saw Earnest again. I had a baby that my parents thought I gave up for adoption but was actually living with his dad and I was only able to visit him on my way to and back from work. I needed to figure out a way to be there for my baby. So a good friend of mine saw how I was suffering and suggested we get married. I knew my parents would go for it because he was middle eastern and it seemed like the only way I could leave the house without a disaster. I got married Earnest supported me, but it killed him to see me in a white wedding dress marrying another man.

 

David
What advice can you give Interracial couples that are having issues from society and their cultural back ground separating them?


 
Sue
There is a rainbow at the end of every tunnel and true love never dies.
 


David
What is your relationship with your family now?


Sue
I have a great relationship with them. I see them twice a week, we celebrate the holidays together and they love my husband and kids as much as they love me.


David
Sue thank you LOVE for sharing your story! You and Rana are role models for all Arabic girls to follow. They can't hold you down. As my mom says about Rana you girls are like a flower, the world can step on you but you will still smell good, STEP BITCHES!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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