Interview Damona Hoffman - Relationship Expert Talks #SWIPEGOALS: Keys to Digital Dating

Damona Hoffman

Damona Hoffman has been an expert in online dating since its early beginnings in 2001. The former television executive turned love guru has expanded her auditions tips for actors into successful dates for those in the digital dating world. The celebrated relationship expert recently sat down with Splash to discuss the trends seen in online dating and how to find your perfect match in the virtual world. 

Today there seem to be a larger group of single people than say, 10 years ago. People are deciding to get married later or choosing to stay in a relationship sans the marriage license. Could that be because we live, collectively, in a more career-driven society? Damona acknowledges the fact that online dating has completely changed the dating scene.

“Now people have the ability to make more impermanent connections because you can just fly to a new city, hop on your go-to dating app and have a date that night. There are no longer geographical boundaries and dates can just be dates. Essentially there are no strings attached."

As many singles today are experiencing, there is a disconnect happening as people are moving from technology to the offline world. So in order to make the most of technology and the online dating space in general, there are some basics that each individual needs to address.

According to Damona, it is imperative that before you jump into the online dating space you understand what you have to offer in every aspect, especially your personality. Ask yourself, “what qualities and values do I have that would attract the right partner for me?  How does he/she see the world and do we see it in the same way?” 

 “Apply the qualities you have applied in business to the dating world. Don’t be aggressive as it is less attractive in the dating space,” suggests the author of Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating. “So once you’ve made the online profile, what about the date itself? Have a pre-date ritual. No matter what kind of day you have had, you want to start fresh on your date. Keep the date to an hour and a half, which will leave the energy on a high note and leave them wanting more. And most importantly, you have to make an effort to be out there and be visible, and sometimes that means actually going outside of your comfort zone to be available,” says the love guru. 

The digital age we live in gives countless options of swiping left or right, many times based off of physical attraction, which has led to what many people call the “hookup culture.” Can’t fall asleep? Spend some time on Tinder. Having a slow day at work? Take a break with Hinge. In a nutshell, thanks to technology, we are never 100% turned off. So what does Damona have to say about it? 

“I don't think we are anymore of a hookup culture than we were 10 years ago, I just think now there are more options available. The connection between people is easier to not have a responsibility to someone when you have only sent a few text messages. Sometimes people have this false sense of closeness because they’ve been texting with this person every night for a week and think “I really know this person” when really you don't,” she explains. 

With technology creating this digital persona, relationships can be deleted in the blink of an eye and as many people have unfortunately experienced, “ghosting” is no longer just associated with Halloween.

Although online can at times mean stepping outside of our comfort zones, we have the possibility of meeting someone that we may have never met otherwise. 

The former television executive turned television personality and matchmaker has some final words of advice: “Love as you are… You don’t have to change yourself to find love. Instead, be honest with yourself about who you are and you'll attract the people who will appreciate that.”         

In addition to being an author and the radio host of "Dates & Mates," Damona will be starring as the featured relationship expert on #Blacklove, a new reality show following five black women as they navigate through a tough dating pool in New York City. 

For more information on Damona, visit 

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