Breaker-one-nine, Chop Suey on the line.  You got ears on?”  (And you thought that you were finally rid of me once New Found Glory hopped out of town.)  Ha!  Nope.  This drama mama’s here to stay.  (fingers crossed)

Well, since I last shared, I am delighted to report some encouraging status updates concerning my once tenuous physical condition.

1. My “New Found Glorious” blown up eardrums finally healed!  Ding-a-ding-ding… girlfriend’s ears no longer ring.
2. Bouncing “fun buns” are once again registering back into full “boogie down productions mode” sans burning, nagging pain.  (See my NFG article for Splashy details.)

And with all that punk rocker hullaballoo now neatly tucked beneath my recession-busting Burberry belt, I decided to “take one for the Gipper” and fully commit to heralding an optimistic outlook concerning my budding writing career.  (A monumental step in the right direction for a cantankerous clucking hen of the chop suey variety.)  But whatever, suffice it to say that I now trusted that the currents of destiny would place me upon the stream of reckless redemption.  And ahoy mateys, if those muddy waters didn’t deliver!  As they directed me squarely into a smooth-sailing freighter hitting Royal Oak Music Theatre on June 9th.  So, in an effort to dig my lickity-chick chops into my next big assignment, I clickity-clicked upon that I-tunes special offer; that freighter’s spankin’ new release entitled, Already Free.  Which turned out to be not exactly free folks (but rather, ‘The Deal of the Century!’)  And in one thunderous boom my rickety dinghy experienced a crash-tastic collision with the Tao... of truckers, that is.  And I’m talking about the big riggers themselves, The Derek Trucks Band.

Now I have to be honest, I have heard of these guys before.  So I decided to itemize my long list of prior knowledge for your categorical pleasure.

What I knew about the Derek Trucks Band before listening to their album

1. Derek Trucks is a “sick” prodigal guitarist
2. He likes the Dumbo ride at Disneyworld!  (Yes, through the magic of Facebook and six degrees of separation, little nose for news found out that my college roommate and her husband once shared an enchanted Derek Trucks moment while on the Disneyland Dumbo ride.)  Insignificant, yet nonetheless interesting.

However, getting back to my story, when a lonely only’s salivating for a juicy jamboree, that little bit o' information was all that was required to get my freaky fingers to press play.  And doggone it, if I didn’t listen to that album all day long!  My goodness these cats are good!  I'll betcha they got more spins than mama logs on her wash cycle in a whole month.  And after a while I started to half wish that I never shelled out the ten bucks to begin with, because I liked these “Truckers Truck-ing” so much.  In fact, I wanted to totally pig-out on Derek Trucks' magical melodies, roll around in their dirty-soulful underpants, and contract their divinely-inspired swine-flu any day of the week.  And being the glutton that a phony-bologne Facebook test confirmed that I am, Chick Chop Suey wants more Derek Trucks, LOTS MORE!!!!  By Jove, I would even bust out my ole' bikini and wear it in full view of the American public (and that’s saying a heck of a lot) if only this little river rat could swim forever within the balanced bliss pied-piping from Derek’s sweet-singing guitar.

(Fast forward two “lost in translation” days later)… I don’t even know how to explain this plainly, folks.  So I am just going to throw this honkin’ slab of beef out there on the counter for you to dismember.  Something happened to me.  Your girl has either gone completely mad or she’s hopped the fast train to Shagri-La-La-Land.  And I can’t tell the difference.  Two full days of the Derek Trucks Band and Molly Maid's house is a certifiable train wreck!  (I’m still porky-piggy-ing the natural born Tao of these super-talented Truckers.)  Moreover, something AMAZING happened to me whist jamming in true hippy-dippy-love-your-neighbor peace-out-rockin' 70’s fashion; I tripped upon free-form happiness and rightly stubbed my big fat tapping toe.  Whammo!  The willful dichotomy of the Tao somehow found an eight lane superhighway inside my kooky little brain!  And a true Oprah "a-ha" moment was delivered directly through my throbbing dirigible digit, bringing forth an awareness that I hadn’t fully understood in my thirty-seven years of dim-dumb density.  Here it is folks, just for you…Chick Chop Suey’s million dollar key to happiness:  (completely free of charge, I might add.)

“Paradise exists.  In fact, it is ever present.  And there’s no need to walk a thousand miles to attain it!  Because, my fellow Buddha bellies, true happiness waiting to find YOU!  Take it from me, all you need to do is tune your dinghy’s dial into the Tao of Derek and catch a ride with some Truck-ers, that is... the Derek Trucks Band... and then listen.  Oh yes, perk up those little ears and allow the magic to happen.  Then I am certain... quite certain indeed, that you’ll know what I’m talking about.” 

Looks like we got us a convoy!  I'll see you in heaven on June 9th at the Royal Oak Music Theatre.  This is your girl,  Chick Chop Suey, over and out.

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