A note from Mr. Blackwell:
Welcome to my annual Merry-go-round of Fashion Fiascos - The 46th Annual Worst-Dressed Women List. To put it mildly, it is not a pretty sight. 2005 turned out to be a particularly bad year for couture chaos, wardrobe wrecks and stylistic sleaze. From overexposed, underdressed and over-the-top Pop Tarts to the beyond-bad Bling-Bling brigade, the fashion landscape was littered with a litany of taste-free terrors.
Even formerly best-dressed beauties seemed to lose their designer dazzle during the year - and the usually reliable Red Carpet showstoppers at the Oscars and the Emmys had less impact than in the tinsel-strewn past. The result, unfortunately, had a been-there, done-that aura about it ' that left me wondering whether Hollywood's Dress-to Impress haute couture has become flat, predictable and rather forgettable. I predict a different, far less stuffy and overproduced look for the 2006 Glamour Girls ' after all, elegant simplicity is eternal. Looking like you wore the closet is not. And, of course, we are all secretly hoping for a Bjork appearance ' after this year, we all need a good laugh!
My choices are based purely on a wardrobe choice - these women may be fabulously talented in their respective fields, but when it comes to fashion, they resemble weary weeds in a lovely garden. From style-challenged songbirds to an Oscar winning actress to a fashion empire Empress to a couple of "It" girls, my latest List runs the gamut from tacky to wacky without missing a beat. Of course, other members of my fashion garden rise above the groundcover like glorious roses on a trellis - hence my FABULOUS FASHION INDEPENDENTS LIST. These women are a welcome sight as they glow and blossom with effortless beauty and memorable style.
So, without further ado, let's take a look (if you dare) at the 46th ANNUAL WORST-DRESSED WOMEN LIST. Please- don't let their mistakes happen to you! After all, dressing well really is the best revenge!
The Worst Dressed Women of 2005
10.) Renee Zellweger: Renee runs he gamut from Kewpi Doll Dreck to Red Carpet Wreck - Just take your pick. She looks like a painted pumpkin - on a pogo stick!
9.) Lindsay Lohan: Drowning in "grown-up" growners, the Teen Scream defines "Fashion Fright" - looks like she's aged 30 years ' overnight!
8.) Shakira: A Symphony of Style-Free Fiascos has scandalized her bod - Coiffure by Medusa ' clothes by The Marquis De Sade! Hopeless!
7.) Anna Nicole Smith: Her Supreme Court battle proves every fashion "dog" has their day - unless she's mistaken for "Queen Kong" ' in cheap lingerie! Fashion lunacy - in living, unforgiving color!
6.) Paris Hilton: The Burger Queen Sensation may be very rich - but she still looks like yesterday's cheesecake ' with a side of kitsch! Hot? I think not!
5.) Mariah Carey: Fashion's Hari-Carey Strikes Again! The world applauds your musical emancipation ' but please - leave that body to our imagination!
4.) Eva Longoria: Now that Eva is America's most successful primetime flirt ' she can afford to bury the bikiniwear - and buy a skirt! Gorgeous face, garish taste ' what a waste!
3.) Jessica Simpson: It's time to sack the stylist and divorce the "designer" ' she resembles a cut-rate Rapunzel - slingin' hash in a Vegas diner!
2.) Mary Kate Olsen: In Bag Lady rags that look depressingly decayed - forget the "accessories" and buy some "Raid!"
1.) Britney Spears: When it comes to Couture Chaos, this Tacky Terror should take a bow - looks like an over-the-hill "Lolita" ' From the "Princess of Pop" to the ultimate "Fashions Flop!"
Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2005
Reese Witherspoon, Kirsten Dunst, Kathy Hilton, Dionne Warwick, Ginny Mancini, Nicole Kidman, Carolina Herrera, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss and Natalie Portman.
Published on Jan 10, 2006